Ponies

For a while now, I've been watching Family Guy clips on YouTube, but the other night I got tired of it and wanted some nostalgia. So I went looking for My Little Ponies which I used to watch as a little kid. It's also just about the only girly thing someone can rightly accuse me of enjoying.

So. I was watching a bunch of these old MLP cartoons and it was interesting. When you're 5 you don't notice how horribly stereotyped it all is. Now of course it screams to me. The world of the My Little Pony is a weird attempt at a utopian society that is specific to little pre-teen girls. I have determined that the whole thing is a horrible conspiracy.

The MLP world is almost exclusively populated by pre-teen girl pony stereotypes. They live on nothing but cupcakes, cookiees, and ice cream sodas. The father ponies are hardly ever seen, and the mother ponies spend all of their time baking. The little ponies preen at the soda shop and the beauty salon, they have little tea party girl clubs where the boys are excluded, and so on. There are only 3 regular boy ponies in the show and they are also complete stereotypes.

Because there seems to only really be girl ponies, I made a bunch of male ponies. They wound up being rather warped. Here they are:

Teddy -- Teddy is one of the few canon boys in the group. He is the bad-boy bully character. He's kind of like Bart or Nelson on Simpsons, but more rated G. Here I've matured him a bit... gave him some feathering and a goatee.

Star Trek Pony -- Here he is, dressed up as a few different Trek aliens; Vulcan ears, Klingon forehead, and weird hair... maybe Romulan or something.

Euclidian Pony -- As you might notice, this pony is a unicorn. I drew this one during my philosophy class because, at least in my philosophy department, unicorns are running jokes. I wanted to make it a philospher pony, but I really couldn't think of a butt-symbol for it. Did Pythagorus' triangle, and so the Euclidian geometry came to mind.

Engineer Pony -- some of my friends wanted me to do a sad, loney, never-gonna-get-any pony, and they ruled that it had to be an engineer. I had it's butt-symbol be a T-square, but now everyone who sees it thinks its a Free Mason pony. Hehe... whatever.

Aluminati Pony -- Had to have a tin-foil hat pony.

Yuppy Pony -- This one was originally going to have an 80s cell phone, but I couldn't do the plastic anatomy. Hence, the bluetooth wireless headset. All hail the mighty dollar.

Emo Pony -- I know this one's been done a lot by all the MLP artists, but had to do it.

Borg Pony -- Not too pleased with that one, but oh well

Rastah-Pony -- Whee! Couldn't get away without doing a drug-smoking pony. Plus my lame attempts at dreds. hehe...

2-way Token Pony -- K. There's a story behind this one. In the MLP world, the ponies are multicolored, but, based on culture, they're all white-bred little brats. Additionally, my town, as well as my group of nerdly friends is "as racially diverse as Salt Lake City". So, my nerd buddies and I decided there needed to be a token black pony. But wait! What about a token Asian pony? So, being torn, I decided to combine the two. What do I get? Tiger Woods Pony! Yay!